THE LIFE-CHALLENGE SERIES: THE INSIDE CURE FOR THE OUTSIDE MADNESS

It may seem like the time to expend extra energy having conversations with people about the election, trying to convince them of how wrong they were for functioning in this or that way regarding their voting stance, trying to understand why they didn't vote the way you think they should have, or why they didn't vote at all, and blaming them for the results. However, what I'm seeing is that those conversations are largely taking people away from what I feel are the two most important things right now: self-care and life-path work.

I know it's a challenge, but now is the time to turn inward during the struggle, either for the first time (for many), or simply more than ever, and pay close attention to not only how we feel but also what we need to do for ourselves so we can feel good and peaceful [again]. Something outside of you (this election and its results) has separated you from any inner peace and comfort you may have had, and you need it back, but it's up to you to make sure you get it for yourself. Many people are waiting for something in the governmental structure to shift so they can feel loved, safe, protected, valued, worthy, etc., and I gotta tell you that if you're doing that, then you're barking up the wrong tree. For one thing, you can't rely on other people to make you feel any of those things. You can't wait for people to decide they care about you and that you're worthy of their love, resources, time, energy, etc. so you can then feel at ease. I mean, you can do that, but you and your emotions will forever be controlled by those people; and while you're relying on outside sources to fulfill you, you'll be continuing to neglect fulfilling yourself through your own special, unmatched efforts. That is your job, all day, every day: to be vigilant in doing what you need to do for your own peace of mind.

I understand the fears and concerns eating everyone up right now. I truly do. If Trump actually makes it into office (cuz, again, it ain't January yet, and a lot can change before then!), then yes, all kinds of things are gonna get super real. There will be an insane amount of structural change that will likely affect everyone, including me. So, yes, I am there with you about the unknown ahead of us. But what I know for sure is that now is not the time for me to spend worrying about those unknowns, especially since I can't control them and have no idea when/if/how they will happen. What it is the time for, for me, is to buckle down and go even harder in the paint for myself and for my goals and dreams. It's time for me to nurture myself that much more, to spend even more time catering to my state of peacefulness by honoring my spirit in every way I can, large or small. This is what I have total control over: how I take care of me, how I go about providing for me, how I speak to myself, how I treat myself, how I listen to and respect what I feel, and take action on the things that are in my best interest, even if others want me to disregard all of that. This is what I know gets me through the days, makes me feel stable and valuable.

Continuing to do the work I'm here to do, that helps people be and do better for themselves and others, is even more crucial now. It's not the time for me to take a single moment away from that work to engage in fruitless interactions about what life may be like starting next year, because it's all fear-based speculation that won't help me, or help me help someone else, in this moment. It will cause stress and more worry, which will take away from my peace. The best way to prepare for what may come, is for me to make sure I'm doing all that I can to provide peace, support, and emotional stability for myself right now, which in turn allows me to have healthy relationships and interactions with others, so my foundation will be solid in the face of whatever adversity may await.

This is what I'm inviting all of you to do, too. Honor your spirit, now more than ever. If you're looking for the light at the end of what you perceive is a dark tunnel, then guess what? You're gonna hafta turn it on within yourself, first, and light the tunnel up for yourself, as you travel through it. Be the light; don't wait for it. What do you need to do for you, and how can you [continue to or begin to] help others, using your gifts and talents?

Learn more about how you can honor your spirit, and why it's so important, at www.honorthespirit.com

THE LIFE-CHALLENGE SERIES: WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

A lesson in dealing with someone who has habits that rub you the wrong way, and when you experience them, your blood pressure rises and you snap at them, and then things are tense: The challenging thing about this type of situation is that people do not have to change their behavior if they don't want to; and they really won't do it if they don't think there's anything wrong with it. You're welcome to ask them to change, but don't expect it.

No matter how annoying or foul it is, you really only have two healthy options: discontinue your dealings with them, or find a way to deal with the behavior so that you retain your peace of mind. It doesn't serve either one of you if you always react negatively, especially when you already know how the person is. Since you're the one who's always bothered by the behavior, it's your responsibility to figure out how to handle it, and the person, in a way that allows there to be peace between you two. Figure out why the behavior annoys you, what it means for you if the person doesn't stop doing it (What harm, discomfort, or loss does it cause you? Does it scare you?), how you can accept the person for who they are, and then work around what they do, meaning find a response that's neutral. If you choose to keep them in your life, then you have to work it out on your end. It's your problem, not theirs.

*By the way, I'm not talking about someone doing something to you that is harmful, disrespectful, abusive, etc. I'm only talking about behavior that you find annoying or distasteful.

Learn more at www.honorthespirit.com

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?

I was talking to a guy at an open mic on Monday night. He was so moved by my poetry that he said he almost had to "take a moment and step outside to think about it all." I told him I'm also a life consultant, and my poetry is directly connected to that work. We talked about why I'm not a life coach. I explained that the way my system is set up, people get results really fast. His reply was, "Ah, so you're in and out." Yes. Exactly. And the reason is, as I further explained to him, I know from personal experience and from watching others, that when you're truly ready to do the work on yourself and make the changes you need to advance, you take the tools and info you get when you seek help, and you get crackin' ... now, today. Even when doing the work is challenging. All of the people I've helped have been ready to do the work, so when we're done with our consultation, they go and get their results. They don't need me for 3, 6, 12 months, 2 years, etc. I like it that way. I believe it's better that way. You already have what it takes to succeed. The question is, when you get the help you need, ARE. YOU. READY. TO. ROCK?

One of my clients got her results in 4 days; she had been struggling for the better part of a year with her situation. Another got hers in less than 3 months (and that's only because she had no control over the process outside of herself that she had to wait for; but she did her work immediately); she had been struggling with her situation for over a decade. Another client advanced on his path in less than 2 months. These people were ready to rock, even in spite of their fears. One thing about me is I'm not interested in draining your pockets or taking up an unnecessary amount of your and my time. I want you to get in and out and on with your life when you work with me. I want you to not need me when we're done; you are all that you truly need on a daily basis; you just might need help getting tapped in to yourself initially, so you can honor your spirit regularly and therefore advance. Yes, I check in with my clients to make sure they're good. I'm here for them if they need a pick-me-up (this service is called the Refresh Session). I don't just disappear from their lives. But I gotta say, once they get in tune with themselves and start honoring their spirits, they really don't need much else from me, if anything at all.

I only wanna work with people who are ready to rock. It's a waste of our time, and your money, if you're not. So, if you're ready, then let's get you those results. www.honorthespirit.com. I invite you to check out the testimonials while you're there.

THE LIFE-CHALLENGE SERIES: SPEAK ON YOUR SLAY!

*This is sort of a shorter version of another, longer post in this blog on the same subject. But I promise, I'm saying something a little different here! LOL!*

If you're not able to toot your horn about at least one skill or talent, then you're really not paying close enough attention to yourself. There is something you're a beast at, and whatever it is, you not only should (yep, I just "shoulded" on you) acknowledge it but it's also perfectly okay to actually speak on said beasting every now and then. If you can't openly embrace your greatness, then why should anyone else?

Throwing your flyness in people's faces 24/7 with no evidence to back it up (as in, you're the only one who thinks you're fly; no one else has spoken on this perceived fact) or tooting your own horn while putting others down, is arrogance. Confidence is knowing your strengths and how you excel in your own right, and being comfortable enough to say it out loud. You're not saying you're better than anyone else or that you're the absolute best; your sentiment doesn't demean or exclude anyone. You're simply paying homage to yourself based on the positive results that you and others see and experience when you showcase your skill.

Prospective Olympians had better damn well know they're great at what they do if they plan on making it into and through the Olympics; and when you're at that level, you "should" be comfortable verbalizing said greatness. They can't even get in if they're not [seen as] great.

If someone's confidence irks you, then maybe it's time for you to get some of your own and step into your right to let people know the ways you slay in this world, especially when your gifts can help people do, be, and live better.

How do you slay? What are you a beast at? Stop hiding or ignoring it. Uncover it and speak on it!

Take good care of yourselves, and always remember to HONOR THE SPIRIT.

THE LIFE-CHALLENGE SERIES: DON'T GET YOUR WIRES CROSSED

We're all born with natural abilities and skills that we develop as we grow. Over time, we discover our myriad interests; and along our life's journey, we may hone those interests and pursue them on some higher level, or we may just keep them as hobbies. We are wired for these things. As we change, advance, learn more about ourselves and our lives, and interact with others, we're introduced to an even larger variety of interests. We even begin to learn about some hidden knacks, things we had no idea we could do until unique situations present themselves and we find ourselves being bad-asses at things that totally surprise us.

Then there is all the stuff in this world that we're not wired for. Being wired for something is two-fold: there has to be interest and ability—and the ability can even be minuscule. But in my experience, I'm gonna venture to say that the element of interest is key in wiring, because without it, there'll be a wall up that will impede you from exploring any ability you may have for a thing. With interest, even the smallest amount of ability has potential to be nurtured and subsequently grown, even if you don't end up being a total bad-ass at the thing. Maybe you're just adequate, but at least you can do it well enough to achieve decent results.

I'm not wired for fancy mathematics. By "fancy," I mean anything outside of the basics of adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing—and sometimes I have to do those things on a calculator, depending on how big the equations I'm working with are. I'll tell you in a heartbeat, "I'm not the math girl," and have no problems with that statement. Why? Because I have absolutely no interest in anything outside of the forms of math I just mentioned. None. Zip. I. Do. Not. Care. As long as I can manage my life doing the basics, I'm cool. When algebra, geometry, calculus, trigonometry, or any other higher form of math will help me balance my checkbook or keep track of what's in my wallet, let me know and I might be able to scrounge up an inkling of interest, enough to get help with learning it. I already know I'm looking like Cindy Brady on that game show when it comes to algebra, because it was a painful struggle for me to get anything higher than a D- in it, in high school, even when my teacher tried to help me. Had I been the least bit interested in it, I might've been able to grasp it better. But my wiring was, and still is, faulty when it comes to that kinda math, and I totally embrace that fact. Lord forbid I ever need algebra or any of its fancy-mathematics siblings at the spur of the moment to advance in my life, 'cause I'd surely be screwed. Oh well!

What I know is this: you are not here to excel or even be good at everything. A lot of stuff just isn't naturally for you, whether you're flat-out uninterested, or you're interested but you struggle with it. I invite you to let that be okay and not find fault with yourself because of it, even if people try to make you feel like you should or need to be a this-or-that wizard. If you find that you need to do something you're not good at, then guess what? That's what the countless other people out there who are good at it are for—to help you when you're in a pinch. The beautiful and fascinating thing about life is that people all over the world are not only interested in but also masters at that things you're terrible at, and you can seek them out when necessary.

While I think it's imperative to grow and do and learn as much as you can in this life, I also feel like it's equally important to accept yourself for who you are, what your interests are (and are not), and what inherent skills you have. It's healthy to know and not resist your limitations. Having limitations is not a bad thing and is nothing to berate yourself over. I invite you to learn to perceive and speak about your limitations in a way that doesn't damage your self-esteem. You can know you're not good at something, you need help getting it done, and still feel good about yourself. You have so many other great attributes you're here to showcase and use for your and others' betterment. That's the stuff that's wise to focus on, develop, and continue to add to, through your everyday discoveries about yourself.

Enjoy doing and being great at what you're wired for. Let everyone else be great at the stuff you're not wired for. Just keep their contact info handy for a rainy day; and have yours ready for those who'll eventually need you to help them over a hump in your field of expertise.

Take good care of yourselves, and always remember to honor the spirit.

THE LIFE-CHALLENGE SERIES: HAPPINESS IS INTENTIONAL

It would be great if happiness were just there for us, without our having to make any effort to achieve it. Many times it is; things happen that bring us joy, and we didn't necessarily orchestrate those situations. But there's another level to the happiness game that requires effort, action, risk, and trust. This level involves the unknown and all of its exciting and sometimes scary elements.

No one ever said pursuing happiness would always be easy. Often, happiness is found outside our comfort zone, where we rarely like to trek. In fact, our greatest happiness is found in our most deliberate choices and endeavors. It's found in pushing the envelope of our perceptions and faith. It's found in our willingness to let go of old ways that are holding us back. It's found in entertaining the idea of rearranging our lives so we can have that thing or experience we've been eyeing for years but have been too afraid to reach out and touch. It's found in ignoring our loud, negative ego that tells us we can't, shouldn't, won't be able to, and will fail if we go for it.

Happiness is that thing we have to decide to have, in spite of naysayers, fears, discomfort, lack of confidence, lack of details, and perceived limitations. Happiness is that thing that sometimes requires us to give up what's mediocre (read: safe) in our lives in order to get the best. It's the big prize whose prerequisite usually involves our passing some tests along the way, ones that show us just how committed to our well-being we really are.

The reality is, you can't say you want happiness but be unwilling to try things. Maybe you don't dive into the whole enchilada head-first, though, if it's too scary. Maybe you nibble on it here and there. For example, if you wanna travel to a place that would take 10 hours to get to by plane, but you're afraid of flying, then maybe you plan a short trip to a place you wouldn't mind visiting that's closer, where the flight is, say, 2 hours. Chip away at your fear bit by bit. Work your way up to a 10-hour flight. If you wanna go into a specific career but you're not ready to chase that dream full force, then maybe you look into doing some volunteer work in the field, or an internship that might pay you. Or, if you can't do either of those things, maybe you seek out people in the field and ask if they can show you around their work environment and provide you with details that will help you assess the option better. If you wanna relocate but you don't know where, then start jotting down the conditions and type of environment you prefer living in, do your research on places that match what's on your list, and go visit. If your dream is to get a degree but the thought of immersing yourself in the thick of school terrifies you, then maybe you start off at a community college and build up those transferable units over time. If you wanna do something like move on from an unhealthy situation or person and you're finding it daunting, then maybe you map out your exit plan by first examining your fears about leaving, and making a concerted effort to quell them enough that you can make a move. Make a pros and cons list about the situation. Write down all the ways staying is robbing you of your peace of mind, and all the ways leaving will bring you peace and freedom.

There are countless scenarios I could talk about, but the point is, whatever you wanna do that you feel will be good for your soul and your health, just know that whether the goal is big or small, you may have to step out on faith and take your chances—jump out of the proverbial parachute, so to speak—and trust the outcome. Happiness is not always gonna magically be at your front door with a bouquet of flowers. There will be times when you'll have to go get it, and you may need to move a couple of mountains along the way.

Happiness is always yours for the taking. The question is: how much do you really want it?

Have a great week, and always remember to honor the spirit.

THE LIFE-CHALLENGE SERIES: THE QUEST IN THE QUIET

I don't know about you, but I LOVE my quiet time. It's mandatory for me. I need lots of it, whether it's for long stretches or in short spurts. I just gotta have it. This wasn't always the case, though. There was a time when quiet time made me super uncomfortable, so I didn't engage in much of it. Instead, I would always have some kind of distraction at hand: phone calls, music, TV, Internet, movies; you name it and if it would keep me from being subjected to the sound of "nothing," then I was using it.

Then, in 2012, when I was struggling with a lot of issues and was feeling like my world was spinning out of control, I decided to get quiet. I just needed to stop, think, and try to figure out what the hell was happening in my life and how to get a grip on things. At that time, for some reason, all the distractions had gotten very loud and annoying, so I cut them off and I spent days in silence. At first it was almost nerve-racking since I had never tried it before. I thought it would be easy when I got started, but I was wrong. It was actually a bit scary and I wanted to quit. But then I realized wanting to quit was exactly why I needed to keep at this little experiment. I realized I was afraid of myself, and that wasn't working for me, especially since I had to take me wherever I went.

Afraid of myself? Huh? Yes. It became crystal clear that I didn't wanna hear everything that was in my head, because a lot of it was unpleasant. There were all kinds of fears, warped perceptions, pressing questions, strange judgments, and negative self-talk piled in there, all yammering at the same time, and I couldn't get away from any of it! Good grief! What had I gotten myself into? I thought I had signed up for relaxing Zen time that would make me feel good, but what I had walked into was a war zone in my mind. I was a mess and it was time to clean myself up.

So I dove in to everything I didn't wanna look at. As I began to examine things, come up with answers to a lot of those difficult questions, pull apart the perceptions and negativity, uncover the reasons for my fears, and assess my desires, goals, and needs, the feeling of wanting to run from myself started to fade. I found myself feeling so much better, lighter, clearer. I felt a real sense of relief. I realized how important silence was, and how much I blocked my growth and advancement because I had been refusing to listen to myself. I realized that putting a muzzle on my mind and then expecting to be able to move forward in my life was the worst form of self-sabotage. I finally understood that in the silence is where all the valuable, crucial, precious information about me and what I need to [do to] feel good about myself and my life, is kept. It occurred to me that all those years I spent looking outside myself for answers was wasted, because I had all of them in my head the whole time. Naturally, I couldn't access them properly because I was too busy drowning them out with noise.

You have the same access to all of the answers about yourself and your life, too. It's in the silence. And if you wanna get clear about who you are, why you do the things you do, what you want, what you need, how you feel, and how to go about making things happen for yourself, then I invite you to embrace quiet time, without any distractions. Pure silence. It'll probably work your nerves at first, if you're not used to being with yourself like that. I suggest having a notebook and pen handy, or your computer, so you can write or type out your discoveries. Something about seeing the clutter in your head, up close with your own two eyes, makes it easier to filter through. Extracting the sentiments and then reading them is empowering. It's like you've finally "got the goods" on yourself, and now you can sort through them and start making changes based on your findings. You can also start crafting a new story about yourself and your life. Write down your goals and intentions. Map out some moves to make toward their achievement. Start planning your upgraded future.

Once you get comfortable with silence and you experience its benefits, I assure you that it'll become one of your most cherished activities. You'll understand that it holds the key to your victory in so many ways. So go ahead. Be quiet. Your soul will thank you.

Take good care of yourselves, and always remember to honor the spirit.