Friday, October 21, 2016


A lesson in dealing with someone who has habits that rub you the wrong way, and when you experience them, your blood pressure rises and you snap at them, and then things are tense: The challenging thing about this type of situation is that people do not have to change their behavior if they don't want to; and they really won't do it if they don't think there's anything wrong with it. You're welcome to ask them to change, but don't expect it.
No matter how annoying or foul it is, you really only have two healthy options: discontinue your dealings with them, or find a way to deal with the behavior so that you retain your peace of mind. It doesn't serve either one of you if you always react negatively, especially when you already know how the person is. Since you're the one who's always bothered by the behavior, it's your responsibility to figure out how to handle it, and the person, in a way that allows there to be peace between you two. Figure out why the behavior annoys you, what it means for you if the person doesn't stop doing it (What harm, discomfort, or loss does it cause you? Does it scare you?), how you can accept the person for who they are, and then work around what they do, meaning find a response that's neutral. If you choose to keep them in your life, then you have to work it out on your end. It's your problem, not theirs.
*By the way, I'm not talking about someone doing something to you that is harmful, disrespectful, abusive, etc. I'm only talking about behavior that you find annoying or distasteful.
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