Monday, August 1, 2016

THE LIFE-CHALLENGE SERIES: BLIND DILIGENCE

So, you decide to pursue that goal. When you start out, you're full of excitement, gusto, ideas, hope, energy, and plans. You're pumped to get in there and fight for your dream. You feel good about the moves you're making. You're all set to tell everyone about your big victory ... you know, because it'll be happening aaaany day now.

And then, any day now turns into eight months. That turns into a year. You look up and it's been a year and a half. You grumble a bit, but you keep pushing, because dammit, you want this and you're committed! Come on, any day now! Where are you?! Next thing you know, two years have passed! What the?? By now, you're super discouraged and confused. You thought for sure that all the efforts you made would've paid off long ago. But somewhere along the way, things took an undesirable turn. You started running into major obstacles. People you were reaching out to for help weren't helping, for whatever reason. Emails weren't answered. Phone calls weren't returned. People started serving up healthy portions of the word no. At this point, you start running out of ideas, steam, patience, and hope. You contemplate giving up, because it appears that this thing isn't meant to be. I mean, it has been two whole years. If "it" was gonna happen, then it shoulda happened by now. There's no logical reason for it to be taking so long ... right? So you should just be out, right?

WRONG. What you need to employ is what I call blind diligence. This is when you stay the course no matter what's happening in the situation, no matter how not in your favor things seem to be. You can't see the big picture, but you keep plugging until it manifests itself. You keep making efforts. You keep anticipating that victory. You keep envisioning your life with that goal achieved. Why? Because you still want it. Because it's still important to you. Because it still drives you every day. Because you can't make it through 12 hours without fantasizing about it. Because it's still in your heart. And as long as it's still in your heart, then you should still be committed. Not for someone else, but for yourself. The commitment is to and for you only. The only time you should give up on a goal or dream is if it's no longer a goal or dream. That happens sometimes. Maybe your life changes or your priorities change, and that goal no longer fits in your world. Maybe you've genuinely lost interest. No problem. Cease pursuit. However, if you cease pursuing something that matters because you're discouraged, lemme tell you what happens: that desire will haunt you. Yep, it surely will. Been there. Experienced that. You think you can run from your heart, but you can't. I promise. I've tried. I failed every time. When I've convinced myself to "forget it," and "move on," I always end up right back in the saddle, because quitting and/or pursuing something in its place never feels authentic; it just feels like a cop-out. You can't successfully hide from and disregard yourself, my friends. Wherever you go, there you are, and so are all the things that matter to you. Front and center. In your face. Looking at you like, "Where the hell did you think you were going without us?"

I have many victory stories, but here's one I hardly ever share. When I was 18, I set out to buy a new car. I had a job at a cafe where I worked maybe 30 hours a week and made well under six bucks an hour. I had no credit. I had no money saved. And to top it off, I intended to get said new car with no cosigner. I went from lot to lot to lot to lot. I got told no, no, no, and no. Some of the people at the dealerships were slightly amused at my boldness. I mean, I was a kid with nothing to put down on a car, no cosigner, and a job that paid me less than $700 a month. To a car dealer, I was a joke—a cute little female joke. Now. The reason having a new car was so important is because when I was 18, I bought a used car from a woman I knew, and it died on me after three weeks. I vowed right then that my next car would be brand new. This goal was huge and it mattered more than I could put into words. The biggest issue the dealerships had with me was that I didn't have any credit. I'm like, in my head, "Duh. I'm 18, you fools. What kinda credit do you expect me to have at this point? Someone has to take a chance and give me credit so I can have some first-time credit." Yet everywhere I went, they threw that issue in my face, along with the fact that I had no money to put down and didn't want a cosigner. They called me unrealistic and told me no one would sell me a new car without these crucial things. But I ignored them and continued my pursuit. Some-damn-body was gonna give me what I wanted, the way I wanted it. Well, it took about 2.5 years of rejection, frustration, and even some tears, but lo and behold, I found my car in a newspaper ad while on my lunch break at work. It was a 1990 Ford Festiva, on sale for $5000. Yes, five grand. A brand-new car. I claimed that car while looking at it in the ad. I got that car. Of course, there's a whole backstory about the how, but the most important thing is, in the end I didn't need credit; my down payment was a $1500 instant rebate on the car; and because I made more than enough to cover the monthly payments of (are you ready for this???) $129.40 (lololol!!!), Novato Ford sold 20-year-old me—brand new—a car (two months shy of my 21st birthday).

Blind diligence. Amid all the rejection, upset, discouragement, and tears. Because I was determined that there was a yes in my future. All I needed was one. That's all you need, too. One good yes from the right person or people will open the door to your perfect victory, and none of the ones that were previously slammed in your face will matter.

Will you continue to pursue your invitation to walk through that door ... even when you can't see the door, no matter how long it takes?

Take care, and always remember to honor the spirit.

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