So, you decide to pursue that goal. When you start out, you're full of
excitement, gusto, ideas, hope, energy, and plans. You're pumped to get
in there and fight for your dream. You feel good about the moves you're
making. You're all set to tell everyone about your big victory ... you
know, because it'll be happening aaaany day now.
And then, any day now turns into eight months. That turns into a year.
You look up and it's been a year and a half. You grumble a bit, but you
keep pushing, because dammit, you want this and you're committed!
Come on, any day now! Where are you?!
Next thing you know, two years have passed! What the?? By now, you're
super discouraged and confused. You thought for sure that all the
efforts you made would've paid off long ago. But somewhere along the
way, things took an undesirable turn. You started running into major
obstacles. People you were reaching out to for help weren't helping, for
whatever reason. Emails weren't answered. Phone calls weren't returned.
People started serving up healthy portions of the word no. At this
point, you start running out of ideas, steam, patience, and hope. You
contemplate giving up, because it appears that this thing isn't meant to
be. I mean, it
has been two
whole years. If "it" was
gonna happen, then it shoulda happened by now. There's no logical reason
for it to be taking so long ... right? So you should just be out,
right?
WRONG. What you need to employ is what I call blind diligence. This is
when you stay the course no matter what's happening in the situation, no
matter how
not in your favor things seem to be. You can't see
the big picture, but you keep plugging until it manifests itself. You
keep making efforts. You keep anticipating that victory. You keep
envisioning your life with that goal achieved. Why? Because you still
want it. Because it's still important to you. Because it still drives
you every day. Because you can't make it through 12 hours without
fantasizing about it.
Because it's still in your heart.
And as long as it's still in your heart, then you should still be
committed. Not for someone else, but for yourself. The commitment is to
and for you
only. The only time you should give up on a goal or
dream is if it's no longer a goal or dream. That happens sometimes.
Maybe your life changes or your priorities change, and that goal no
longer fits in your world. Maybe you've genuinely lost interest. No
problem. Cease pursuit. However, if you cease pursuing something that
matters because you're discouraged, lemme tell you what happens: that
desire will haunt you. Yep, it surely will. Been there. Experienced
that. You think you can run from your heart, but you can't. I promise.
I've tried. I failed every time. When I've convinced myself to "forget
it," and "move on," I always end up right back in the saddle, because
quitting and/or pursuing something in its place never feels authentic;
it just feels like a cop-out. You can't successfully hide from and
disregard yourself, my friends. Wherever you go, there you are, and so
are all the things that matter to you. Front and center. In your face.
Looking at you like, "Where the hell did you think
you were going without
us?"
I have many victory stories, but here's one I hardly ever share. When I
was 18, I set out to buy a new car. I had a job at a cafe where I worked
maybe 30 hours a week and made well under six bucks an hour. I had no credit. I
had no money saved. And to top it off, I intended to get said new car
with no cosigner. I went from lot to lot to lot to lot. I got told no,
no, no, and no. Some of the people at the dealerships were slightly
amused at my boldness. I mean, I was a kid with nothing to put down on a
car, no cosigner, and a job that paid me less than $700 a month. To a car
dealer, I was a joke—a cute little female joke. Now. The reason having a
new car was so important is because when I was 18, I bought a used car
from a woman I knew, and it died on me after three weeks. I vowed right
then that my next car would be brand new. This goal was huge and it
mattered more than I could put into words. The biggest issue the
dealerships had with me was that I didn't have any credit. I'm like, in
my head, "Duh. I'm 18, you fools. What kinda credit do you expect me to
have at this point? Someone has to take a chance and
give me credit so I can
have some
first-time credit." Yet everywhere I went, they threw that issue in my
face, along with the fact that I had no money to put down and didn't
want a cosigner. They called me unrealistic and told me no one would
sell me a new car without these crucial things. But I ignored them and
continued my pursuit.
Some-damn-body was gonna give me what I
wanted, the way I wanted it. Well, it took about 2.5 years of rejection,
frustration, and even some tears, but lo and behold, I found my car in a
newspaper ad while on my lunch break at work. It was a 1990 Ford
Festiva, on sale for $5000. Yes, five grand. A brand-new car. I claimed
that car while looking at it in the ad. I got that car. Of course,
there's a whole backstory about the how, but the most important thing
is, in the end I didn't need credit; my down payment was a $1500 instant
rebate on the car; and because I made more than enough to cover the
monthly payments of (are you ready for this???)
$129.40 (lololol!!!), Novato Ford sold 20-year-old me—brand new—a car (two months shy of my 21st birthday).
Blind diligence. Amid all the rejection, upset, discouragement, and
tears. Because I was determined that there was a yes in my future. All I
needed was one. That's all you need, too. One good yes from the right
person or people will open the door to your perfect victory, and none of
the ones that were previously slammed in your face will matter.
Will you continue to pursue your invitation to walk through that door ... even when you can't
see the door, no matter how long it takes?
Take care, and always remember to
honor the spirit.
