THE LIFE-CHALLENGE SERIES: THE QUEST IN THE QUIET

I don't know about you, but I LOVE my quiet time. It's mandatory for me. I need lots of it, whether it's for long stretches or in short spurts. I just gotta have it. This wasn't always the case, though. There was a time when quiet time made me super uncomfortable, so I didn't engage in much of it. Instead, I would always have some kind of distraction at hand: phone calls, music, TV, Internet, movies; you name it and if it would keep me from being subjected to the sound of "nothing," then I was using it.

Then, in 2012, when I was struggling with a lot of issues and was feeling like my world was spinning out of control, I decided to get quiet. I just needed to stop, think, and try to figure out what the hell was happening in my life and how to get a grip on things. At that time, for some reason, all the distractions had gotten very loud and annoying, so I cut them off and I spent days in silence. At first it was almost nerve-racking since I had never tried it before. I thought it would be easy when I got started, but I was wrong. It was actually a bit scary and I wanted to quit. But then I realized wanting to quit was exactly why I needed to keep at this little experiment. I realized I was afraid of myself, and that wasn't working for me, especially since I had to take me wherever I went.

Afraid of myself? Huh? Yes. It became crystal clear that I didn't wanna hear everything that was in my head, because a lot of it was unpleasant. There were all kinds of fears, warped perceptions, pressing questions, strange judgments, and negative self-talk piled in there, all yammering at the same time, and I couldn't get away from any of it! Good grief! What had I gotten myself into? I thought I had signed up for relaxing Zen time that would make me feel good, but what I had walked into was a war zone in my mind. I was a mess and it was time to clean myself up.

So I dove in to everything I didn't wanna look at. As I began to examine things, come up with answers to a lot of those difficult questions, pull apart the perceptions and negativity, uncover the reasons for my fears, and assess my desires, goals, and needs, the feeling of wanting to run from myself started to fade. I found myself feeling so much better, lighter, clearer. I felt a real sense of relief. I realized how important silence was, and how much I blocked my growth and advancement because I had been refusing to listen to myself. I realized that putting a muzzle on my mind and then expecting to be able to move forward in my life was the worst form of self-sabotage. I finally understood that in the silence is where all the valuable, crucial, precious information about me and what I need to [do to] feel good about myself and my life, is kept. It occurred to me that all those years I spent looking outside myself for answers was wasted, because I had all of them in my head the whole time. Naturally, I couldn't access them properly because I was too busy drowning them out with noise.

You have the same access to all of the answers about yourself and your life, too. It's in the silence. And if you wanna get clear about who you are, why you do the things you do, what you want, what you need, how you feel, and how to go about making things happen for yourself, then I invite you to embrace quiet time, without any distractions. Pure silence. It'll probably work your nerves at first, if you're not used to being with yourself like that. I suggest having a notebook and pen handy, or your computer, so you can write or type out your discoveries. Something about seeing the clutter in your head, up close with your own two eyes, makes it easier to filter through. Extracting the sentiments and then reading them is empowering. It's like you've finally "got the goods" on yourself, and now you can sort through them and start making changes based on your findings. You can also start crafting a new story about yourself and your life. Write down your goals and intentions. Map out some moves to make toward their achievement. Start planning your upgraded future.

Once you get comfortable with silence and you experience its benefits, I assure you that it'll become one of your most cherished activities. You'll understand that it holds the key to your victory in so many ways. So go ahead. Be quiet. Your soul will thank you.

Take good care of yourselves, and always remember to honor the spirit.